Why I do what I do.

With the New Year’s retreat coming up, I thought it might be useful for you if I explain a bit about what I do, why and how I do it, and the benefits you can gain from us being together on retreat.

Gay men’s issues have always interested me, including how to face, accept, and ultimately move on from them: shame, bullying, trauma, disposability, loneliness, fear of aging, competition, substance use and abuse, cheating, superficial app-based connection, the list goes on. Yes, this is the minefield that we as gay men often have to navigate when we are looking to build and sustain healthy intimate relationship, sexual or otherwise.


I have grappled with many of these issues myself, and when I first started my Tantric journey, I thought the practices of Tantra would make everything better; these difficult issues just wouldn’t exist for me anymore. Long story short, twenty-five years later these issues still exist, but now there is a very important difference: I can begin to own and accept them and see them for what they really are.


And, more importantly, thanks to the study and practice of Tantra, I have discovered there is something deeper and more fulfilling to connect with rather than holding tight to trauma. Authentic Tantra teaches that we are greater than we could ever imagine ourselves to be: happiness, fulfilment, peace, and harmony with ourselves and others is available to us if we just take a moment, learn to slow down, and take a look inside ourselves.


This is why I do what I do. I facilitate retreats, events, and teach one-on one to fulfil my life’s purpose: to explore with other like-hearted and like-minded men what true authenticity, intimacy, self-knowledge and acceptance is. This is what traditional Tantra can offer you: a deeper understanding of who you are and how you can deeply and authentically connect not only with others, but also with a very important someone you often tend to forget: You.


Tantra teaches ways to connect. It teaches about breath, awareness, the mind, the body, meditation, conscious sexual practice and more. On retreat, I share these teachings and practices to help us go deeper into our self-understanding and natural joy. I teach primarily traditional or classical Tantra. Does traditional Tantra contain some sexual elements? Yes. Is it all about sex? No. It’s more subtle than that. What traditional Tantra does is this: it honors and utilizes sexual union as a gateway to Self-realization. Authentic Tantra unites sex and spirituality; it transforms sexual experience into not only physical ecstasy, but also into a powerful path of personal growth and spiritual enlightenment. So yes, there is a sexual element to traditional Tantric teaching inasmuch as it honors sex and gives it its natural seat. But, more importantly, Tantra is about authentic self-knowledge, intimacy, and a deeper understanding of who you are at the core of your being.


This is what we explore together on retreat: through Heart Circle, Tantric teachings and practices, ritual, ceremony, and togetherness in friendship and connection, we delve into what it might mean for us as gay men to step into a deeper relationship with ourselves and others, how to live and love authentically, how to deepen our natural experience of joy, and how to share these things with others for the benefit of all.


This is why I do what I do.